What to do when your lover smells bad?

Love is indeed a beautiful thing, but it is also important to be honest with each other, even when it comes to sensitive topics such as body odor. If you find yourself in a situation where your lover smells bad, there are a few things you can do to approach the issue delicately and maintain a healthy, open relationship.

1. Choose the Right Time and Place

Timing is crucial when discussing personal matters. Avoid bringing it up in public or when both of you are stressed or tired. Instead, choose a private and comfortable setting where you can talk openly without distractions. Words to use:

“I’d love to talk to you about something that’s been on my mind. Do you have a few minutes when we can both relax and chat?”

“I’ve noticed something that’s been bothering me a bit, and I wanted to bring it up with you privately. Can we find a time when we can talk about it comfortably?”

Words to avoid: “You smell bad, and I can’t stand it anymore.”

“Why do you always smell so strong? It’s really unappealing.”

2. Start by Expressing Appreciation

Begin by expressing your love and appreciation for your partner. Let them know that you value their presence in your life and that you care about them deeply. This positive tone will create a safe space for the conversation.

Words to use:

“I love you very much, and I appreciate everything you do for me.”

“You’re an amazing partner, and I’m so grateful to have you in my life.”

“I adore your presence, and I want to be honest with you about something to help strengthen our relationship.”

Words to avoid:

“I’m only talking to you about this because I have to.”

“I’m not trying to be mean, but…”

“I’m just going to come out and say it: you smell bad.”

3. Use I Statements

Focus on how their body odor affects you personally. Use I statements to avoid sounding accusatory. For example, instead of saying You smell bad, try I feel uncomfortable when I notice a strong odor.

Words to use:

“I feel a bit uncomfortable when there’s a noticeable body odor.”

“I’ve noticed that there are times when I’m self-conscious about our closeness because of the body odor.”

“My senses are very sensitive to certain smells, and strong odors can sometimes make me feel overwhelmed.”

Words to avoid:

“You make my nose wrinkle up every time I’m near you.”

“I can’t stand the way you always smell.”

“Your body odor is so strong that it makes me want to cover my nose.”

Identify patterns and potential causes

In a calm and curious manner, ask your partner if they’ve noticed any patterns or potential causes for the body odor. This could include recent dietary changes, new medications, hormonal imbalances, increased stress levels, or underlying health conditions.

Potential Causes
Possible Questions
Dietary changes
"Have you noticed any recent changes in your diet or eating habits?"
Medications
"Are you taking any new medications or supplements that could potentially affect your body odor?"
Hormonal imbalances
"Have you noticed any changes in your menstrual cycle, libido, or mood that could indicate a hormonal imbalance?"
Stress levels
"Have you been experiencing any significant stress or anxiety lately that could be contributing to the body odor?"
Underlying health conditions
"Is there any underlying health condition or medical history that you're aware of that could be related to the body odor?"

Suggest solutions and support

Once you have identified potential causes, discuss possible solutions or support options. This could involve lifestyle modifications, such as dietary changes or stress management techniques. Encourage your partner to consult a healthcare professional or consider using products designed to address body odor.

Dietary changes: Discuss potential dietary changes that could reduce body odor, such as limiting certain foods (e.g., garlic, onions) or incorporating deodorizing foods (e.g., parsley, pineapple). Stress management: Explore stress management techniques that could alleviate anxiety or stress, such as exercise, meditation, or yoga. Product recommendations: Suggest using products specifically designed to address body odor, such as deodorant, antiperspirant, or body washes with antibacterial properties. Medical consultation: Encourage your partner to consult a healthcare professional, such as a dermatologist or endocrinologist, to discuss underlying medical conditions or hormonal imbalances that may be contributing to the body odor.

4. Be Specific

Provide specific examples of the situations or activities when the odor is strongest. This will help your partner understand the context and identify potential causes. Avoid using vague terms like always or never.

Words to use:

“I’ve noticed the odor is particularly strong when we’re in close contact, such as when we hug or cuddle.”

“I find the odor is more noticeable after you’ve been working out or exercising.”

“The odor seems to be stronger in certain situations, like when we’re in a warm or humid environment.”

Words to avoid:

“You always smell bad.”

“No matter what you do, you always have the same odor.”

“You never make an effort to manage your body odor.”

5. Suggest Possible Causes

Gently suggest possible reasons for the body odor, such as hormonal changes, certain foods, medications, or stress.

Words to use:

“Could it be related to any hormonal changes you’re experiencing?”

“Have you recently started taking any new medications that might have this side effect?”

“I wonder if stress could be a factor, as I know you’ve been under a lot of pressure lately.”

Words to avoid:

“You must not be taking care of yourself properly.”

“It’s obvious that you don’t have good hygiene habits.”

“You’re probably just not trying hard enough to fix the problem.”

Video

Conclusion

Approaching the topic of body odor with your lover can be a delicate task, but it is important to address it with sensitivity and empathy. By choosing the right time and place, expressing appreciation for your partner, using I statements, providing specific examples, and suggesting possible causes, you can create a safe space for open communication. Remember that the goal is to maintain a healthy and loving relationship, and that approaching the issue with a positive and supportive attitude can help you navigate this challenge together.

Done